Unholy Birth Read online

  Dr. Matthews moved around to the foot of the bed, the now loaded syringe in her left hand. She held it up and nodded at Willy, who further surprised me by taking off her clothes, sliding onto our bed, and putting her arm around my shoulders to cradle my head. I felt Dr. Matthews’s fingers exploring.

  “Locating your cervix,” she whispered. She was looking down at me between my raised knees. “Ah,” she said. She inserted the syringe. Then she looked to Willy who reached to the right and opened a drawer in the night table. She handed Dr. Matthews a vibrator.

  “An orgasm after insemination will help. The uterus will lift causing the cervix to dip down into the pool of sperm, while the contracting orgasm will help move the sperm up into the uterus.”

  Willy was nibbling around my nipples. Dr. Matthews brought her right hand around to caress my breast. She pressed the vibrator against the inside of my right thigh and gradually brought it closer. My heart was pounding. Willy was kissing me on the lips, pressing her pelvis against the outside of my right thigh. Her moans excited me. She was closing on her own orgasm. Dr. Matthews was doing everything but penetrate. I felt my hips gyrating. It was truly as if something had taken over my body. The excitement rose. I was moaning and crying as much as Willy and then I felt my own orgiastic explosion and screamed. Tears were streaming down my cheeks.

  “Good,” Dr. Matthews said. “Good, Kate. That’s good.”

  Willy pressed her face against my shoulder. Her breathing was hot and heavy, but soon began to calm alongside my own.

  And then the room began to spin. I tried to stop it by reaching up, but before I lifted my arm, I felt myself falling back, falling deeply into a darkness that enveloped me and turned my cry inward to echo and die against all the doors to the outside that slammed shut.

  10.

  WHEN I WOKE, I was surprised to find myself alone. Sunlight told me I had slept through the night. I felt like I had slept at least a week. I looked at the clock and saw it was just after nine. Willy was not beside me and I couldn’t hear anyone moving about in the house.

  Nine-thirty! I thought. Wasn’t I supposed to have another insemination at eight? Why hadn’t I been awakened?

  I sat up and gazed around the bedroom. There was no evidence of what had occurred here the night before. It was almost as if it had all been another one of my dreams. I half-expected that when I rose and went out, I would discover that no time had passed, that I had never met Dr. Matthews, I had never been examined by Dr. Aaron, and we had never hired and housed someone named Eve in our casita.

  “Willy?” I called, and listened. Except for the sound of the lawn sprinklers starting and running, I heard nothing. Still naked, I went to the door, opened it and listened. I looked into the kitchen and spotted the note on the refrigerator. Willy had written to tell me she had gone to the plant.

  I looked at the spotless kitchen, everything neatly in its place. I peered into the dining room and saw how pristine it was. There was simply no evidence of the dinner party until I opened the refrigerator and saw what remained of the chocolate angel food cake and a large platter of leftover chicken Kiev. At least I knew I hadn’t dreamed it all, I thought, and went to shower and dress. I didn’t think I’d eat much of a breakfast, but when I stepped out of the bedroom afterward, I found I was ravishingly hungry. I drank my orange juice, but then took the time to make myself a cheese omelet with bacon and buttermilk biscuits with jelly. I was more surprised when after I ate it, I still felt hungry, actually hungry for a piece of the angel food cake. The piece I cut didn’t suffice either. Before I left the kitchen, I consumed the entire cake, but didn’t realize it until I looked down at the cake dish and saw it was empty. I actually recoiled from the sight.

  Was I in some kind of self-hypnotic state? How did I eat so much and not realize it? I cleaned up quickly, moving as would someone who was trying to cover up a crime. Then I hurried to my car and drove to the plant.

  For a moment after I had arrived, I thought I had entered the wrong warehouse. The new machinery, the tables, the extra conveyor belt, and the additional temporary employees were all there. What had once been a small mom and pop–style operation seemingly turned overnight into a significant little factory. Chatter and noise replaced the once soft laughter and light conversation that had characterized our relaxed, easygoing manner. Willy and Eve were moving about, instructing and inspecting, shouting orders. No one noticed I had entered. I had to shout over the din. Willy turned and waved. I gestured at the office and she nodded, but she didn’t come right away. When I approached my desk, I saw that my computer had been turned on and new information had been entered concerning orders and expenses.

  “How are you doing?” Willy asked immediately on entering.

  “Why didn’t you wake me before you left this morning?”

  “I thought after what you had gone through, I’d let you sleep longer. I kept looking in on you expecting the noise Eve and I made would wake you, but by the time I left, you were sleeping like a baby yourself. How do you feel?”

  “I’m all right,” I said, and actually thought about how I felt for the first time since I had woken. I did feel all right. I felt better than all right. I felt more energetic than I had felt lately. “Who was on my computer?”

  “Eve put some information in there for you. Did you have breakfast?”

  “Yes. I had a big breakfast, a very big breakfast.”

  Willy nodded and smiled as if she had expected no less.

  “Great. It went well,” she said. “It was actually very exciting and,” she added smiling licentiously, “far from some kind of clinical procedure.”

  “But I thought there was going to be another insemination twelve hours after the first. Wasn’t there talk about Dr. Matthews staying overnight?”

  Willy stared at me a moment, her expression freezing on a soft smile.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “What do I mean? Insemination? Remember Dr. Sperm?”

  She laughed.

  “Why are you laughing at me, Willy?”

  “You had the second insemination, Kate. Then you fell back asleep and I left you, just as I told you.”

  “What? I had it?” I recoiled and smirked at her. “I think I’d remember something like that, Willy. What the hell are you saying?”

  “You had the second insemination. It all went well. Dr. Matthews was pleased. She, Eve, and I had some breakfast and then as I just said, we looked in on you, saw you were sound asleep, and we didn’t disturb you. As Lois said when she left, ‘It’s all in the womb of time now.’”

  “I don’t remember it, Willy,” I said, my lips trembling. “How can I not remember something like that?”

  “Take it easy. Maybe the sedative you took confused you. You should have just taken the day off. I keep telling you that this is a bigger emotional and physical experience than you think, but you insist on being a big shot.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to create any problems for us. Especially now,” I added, nodding at the activity I could see through the office window. “But I just can’t believe I was that confused. My God.”

  “It’s okay, Kate. Take it easy.” She stepped over to me and ran her hand over my hair before leaning over to kiss me. “Mommy baby,” she whispered smiling. “Later, we’ll both help relax each other.”

  I couldn’t speak. I just shook my head.

  She straightened up and said, “Everything’s going really well out there. We’re going to be a big hit. You know what happens when so many people are impressed at one time. This place is going to expand. We’ll need two warehouses, twice the staff. Eve has some interesting ideas for it all. We’ll go to dinner and talk about it all one day this week.”

  “Why such a big expansion? Weren’t we big enough, happy enough?”

  “Are you kidding? Yes, but why in hell would we let such opportunity pass us by? You want to give our baby the best of everything, don’t you?”

  “We were do
ing fine,” I said.

  “Kate, that isn’t very American of you. Where’s your entrepreneurial ambition? Besides, you never know. You might like having a child so much that you ask for another, and kids are expensive these days.” She started out. “Oh,” she said at the door, “Dr. Matthews has made an appointment for you with Dr. Aaron for next week.”

  “Next week? We won’t know anything by then, will we?”

  “Hey, they have better ways now. She says Dr. Aaron can detect human chorionic gonadotropin in your blood as early as a week after ovulation.”

  “Human what?”

  “It’s a hormone made by pregnancy.”

  “Since when do you know so much about this?”

  “I sat up into the wee hours with Lois talking about it and learning. Fingers crossed,” she said, then smiled and left.

  I sat back, my heart pounding. She sat up into the wee hours talking? How come she was so alert?

  Could that be right? In a week I’d know? I suddenly felt like someone who had gone too far out on a tightrope to turn back and I was terrified about looking down. As my father was fond of saying, “The die is cast.”

  I tried concentrating on my work, but my mind drifted continuously. I relived the first insemination and felt myself warm all over with the memory of my orgasm. I still couldn’t imagine it being done a second time and not remembering. I drifted off thinking about it. When I glanced at the clock, I was shocked at how little I had accomplished.

  “Hi, Kate. How are you?” Eve asked, poking her head through the opened door.

  “I’m fine,” I replied, not taking my eyes off the computer monitor.

  “I hope you don’t mind my entering some information for you on the computer. Willy thought it would be okay. We both thought we’d try to make your day easier.”

  “I’m said I’m fine. I don’t need pandering,” I said, a little more harshly than I had intended or perhaps as harshly as I intended. I wasn’t sure. I knew I felt annoyed and I knew that anyone objective observing would find fault only with me. That bothered me even more.

  “Oh, I don’t mean to do that. We just want you to be comfortable and happy.”

  “Right,” I said, and thought, what’s with this “we” all of a sudden? This was a matter only for Willy and myself. She was just another employee.

  “I just want you to know I’m available if there is anything you need done, no matter how small it might seem. You guys have already done a lot more for me than I ever would have anticipated,” she said, which only made me feel worse about my reaction. “I’m grateful.”

  “Okay, thanks, Eve. I’m sorry if I sound short with you. I’m just a little…I’m not quite myself.”

  “Hey, no need to apologize for anything, ever. You’re entitled to be as moody as you want. I remember when my sister-in-law was pregnant. My brother was ready to move out. He actually got the shakes himself, but it passes. It gets better as you go along.”

  “Oh, you know for a fact that I’m definitely pregnant? You, too, have become an expert about pregnancy?” I asked, half curious and again, half annoyed.

  She shrugged.

  “Hey, I saw how successful the insemination process was for my sister-in-law. If you’re not pregnant now, you soon will be, I’m sure, and I just know what I’ve observed. It’s not brain surgery. Don’t hesitate to call on me if you want anything. I mean it,” she added, and backed out, closing the door.

  Not brain surgery? It seemed to me someone would have to be more than a chef to look at a woman and know she was pregnant. That was bigger than brain surgery.

  No one came to the office again until lunchtime. Willy, who was busy with one of the machines that needed attention, sent Tommy Ryan to tell me they were ordering in sandwiches.

  “Why would you like?”

  “A catering business and we can’t make our own sandwiches?”

  “Willy’s got everyone doing something else at the moment and thought it would be the fastest way. I have the Wishing Well’s menu,” he said, offering it to me.

  Just reading the descriptions of the food suddenly turned my stomach. Maybe it was because of all I had eaten at breakfast, but I became nauseated and quickly handed the menu back to him.

  “I don’t want anything,” I said.

  “You sure?”

  “Yes. Tell Willy to come in here,” I said. He nodded and left.

  Looking annoyed, wiping her greasy hands with a rag, Willy returned to the office.

  “What?” she asked. Before I could answer, she added, “That damn pump on the mixing machine dropped stone dead and it’s not even a year old. I’ve got to send someone to San Bernardino. It’ll be hours. What?” she asked again, remembering it was I who had asked to see her.

  “I’m going home. I don’t feel so well.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “I just feel a little woozy and tired. I probably should have taken the day off and rested as you suggested.”

  “Want Eve to drive you?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll just rest, have some herbal tea. Don’t worry.”

  “Okay,” she said, obviously eager to get back to her machinery.

  “Maybe you’re trying to do too much too quickly, Willy,” I offered.

  “I’m trying to do too much too quickly?” She smirked. “Just go rest, Kate. I can see you’re irritable.”

  Before I could reply, she left me. I wrapped up my things and started for home. Eve came rushing over when she saw me heading for the front door.

  “Aren’t you feeling well?”

  “I’m just tired.”

  “Okay to drive?”

  “I’m fine,” I snapped. “Just tired. And leave the computer alone. I don’t want to get confused.”

  I walked out and closed the door between us quickly. She stood by the glass door watching me get into my car and she didn’t move until I backed out of my parking spot and started away.

  I don’t need her haunting me, too, I thought. Her concern about me was over the top. I made a mental note to tell Willy to get her to back off.

  Just as I reached the corner and started to slow down for the traffic light, the light changed to green and I began to accelerate, but a tall man with dark-brown hair stepped off the sidewalk as if he were colorblind or something. I had to shift my foot back to the brake quickly. I immediately thought someone behind me would rear-end me, but luckily, there was no one.

  The man stood there looking at me through the windshield as if he wanted to be certain I was who he thought I was. He had his hair cut military-style and wore a black shirt and a pair of black jeans. His face was lean, angular, his features distinct, cut from granite. I laid my palm on my horn and he stepped back to the sidewalk. I glared angrily at him and continued. I didn’t have the strength to start shouting at him for being pretty damn stupid and almost causing an accident. When I glanced up at him in my rearview mirror, I saw he was standing there and looking after me as if I were the one who had violated the rules and not he.

  “Idiot,” I muttered, and drove on.

  Soon after I arrived home, my nausea was gone and I found I was very hungry again. I considered the sizeable leftover portion of the chicken Kiev. After I put more seasoning on it, I sat at the kitchen table and ate ravenously and consumed it all. I laughed, thinking how crazy I was behaving for someone who was ordinarily so conscious about the food she ate, she would know the total calories to the tenth. However, when I rose from the table to take the dish and silverware to the sink, I was overcome with an urge to eat something sweet. I ransacked the cabinet to find what we had in cookies. There wasn’t much of anything. Driven, however, I took out the utensils and ingredients and quickly worked up a batch of chocolate peanut butter cookies.

  To my utter amazement, I had the urge to drink Coke with the cookies and was so impatient with waiting for the cookies to cool down, I actually burned the top of my mouth. When I gazed at myself in the mirror, I broke into hysterical laug
hter. I looked like a little girl who had snuck into the cookie jar. There was chocolate smeared over my mouth, my cheeks, and chin.

  The eating frenzy left me exhausted. Ordinarily, I hated taking naps in the daytime. I always woke feeling worse, hating the grogginess. However, the bed looked too inviting. I curled up under the cover and closed my eyes and didn’t open them again until I heard voices. Turning over, I saw Dr. Matthews and Eve standing at the foot of the bed. Dr. Matthews had that large syringe in her hand and Eve had the vibrator. They were smiling and separated to come around both sides of the bed toward me. I started to scream.

  And then I really woke up, my neck and breasts thick with sweat. It gave me a chill. I sat up, my heart pounding. The room was dark and the house was deadly silent. I practically lunged at the clock and was surprised to see it was after eight. Where was Willy? Why didn’t I hear her out there?

  A quick walk through the kitchen and living room revealed no one was at home. There were no notes left for me either so I went right to the phone and called the plant. Eve answered.

  “We called you earlier,” she said. “When you didn’t answer, Willy tried your cell phone and then decided you had gone to sleep.”

  “Decided? Where is she?”

  “She’s out there supervising. Everything is running like a Swiss clock, but you know Willy.”

  “Yes, I know Willy. Get her to the phone!” I demanded.

  “Hold on,” Eve said.

  It took quite a while, but finally Willy picked up.

  “How could you just assume I was asleep?” I asked as soon as she said, “Kate?”

  “Well, you weren’t answering either phone and…”

  “Maybe I was dead or had passed out or…”

  “If you were already dead, what could I do?” she threw back at me in her characteristically sarcastic manner.

  “Thanks.”

  “C’mon. You’re not going to get like that on me so soon. You might not be pregnant yet.”

  “We never neglected each other like this before, Willy.”