Unholy Birth Page 12

  “And we’re not now. But it goes both ways, Kate. I have a lot on my plate down here. I would hope you would be considerate and understanding. I’m not asking you to work harder.”

  “I told you this White party was going to be too much for us.”

  “It isn’t if we’re both reasonable and considerate. Both,” she emphasized.

  I took a deep breath.

  “When are you coming home?”

  “Not for a while longer. You up to meeting Eve and me at Roger’s?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, but the vision of one of Roger’s fat, juicy burgers flashed across my mind. The restaurant specialized in them, having a variety of burger, cheese, and seasoning combinations, along with the fattest french fries in America. Normally, I wouldn’t set foot in the place, and if I did because Willy wanted one of those burgers, I would order the house salad. “How much longer?”

  “Give us another hour,” she said. “What have you been doing all this time?”

  “I just slept,” I said, leaving out the eating and baking I had done.

  “So? You probably want to get out for a while, right?”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll see you there in an hour,” I said. The truth was, I wasn’t sure I could wait an hour before sinking my teeth into one of those burgers.

  I took a quick, hot shower and started to dress, when the phone rang. She’s changing her mind, I thought with disappointment. Or she’s going to tell me they’ll be later than anticipated.

  It was Dr. Matthews.

  “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine,” I said, and then immediately felt guilty for not telling her the truth. “I’ve just been tired.”

  “Not unusual. It’s traumatic.”

  “I’ve also had this inordinate hunger. I can’t believe how much I ate already today and I’m hungry again.”

  She was silent.

  “Is something wrong about that?”

  “No.”

  “But isn’t such odd eating a usual characteristic of a pregnancy a little further along?”

  “Yes, I suppose so.”

  “You mean you think it means I am pregnant?”

  She laughed.

  “No, that’s not any real evidence. There could be a number of different reasons for your sudden appetite.”

  “I mean, I couldn’t eat fast enough. I made my own cookies because there weren’t any, too.”

  She laughed again.

  “You’re a healthy young woman, Kate. Don’t make anything more of it. I have, however, had clients whose symptoms were accelerated. I swear, I even had a woman give birth in five and a half months to a healthy, normal-size boy.”

  “Wouldn’t that be written up in some paper or magazine?”

  “The client wasn’t someone who wanted any publicity. She didn’t even want people to know she had been inseminated. She went off somewhere when she started to show and when she returned, she told her friends she had adopted a baby.”

  “Why?”

  “Everyone has her own reasons for what they do,” Dr. Matthews remarked. “It’s none of my business. I did my job, delivered what I promised and that was that.”

  “You don’t have any contact with the mothers afterward?”

  “Only a short time afterward.” She laughed. “Most don’t welcome any further contact. I hope, however, that you and I and Willy can remain friends for a long time.”

  “Yes, me too,” I said.

  “Well, enjoy. I’ll call you periodically. You have your appointment set with Dr. Aaron, but call me if you have any questions or problems, please.”

  I wanted to ask her how she knew I had the appointment with Dr. Aaron, but I imagined she had to keep tabs on my progress for selfish reasons. They wanted to announce another successful insemination.

  “Thank you.”

  “Best to Willy. And Eve,” she added as an afterthought before hanging up.

  I thought about what she had said about that premature birth. Could I, like that other woman, have an unusually accelerated pregnancy? Is that why I was showing symptoms immediately? Or was I being too optimistic to assume the insemination was a success? I paused to study myself in the full-length mirror. As I perused my face and body, however, I thought how ridiculous I am, actually thinking I would see some change in myself after only a day.

  On the other hand, what I had just done with Dr. Matthews would be considered science fiction fifty, a hundred years ago. Maybe science would provide techniques that would enable women to get pregnant and have children in half or two-thirds of the normal time. My mind was suddenly buzzing with all sorts of images. I even imagined my baby, lying there on our bed, alert and happy, moving its little arms and legs with impatience, demanding that he continue his accelerated development and be walking and talking in months instead of years.

  We’ll have a natural wonder on our hands, I thought, a prodigy, a genius, of course. My brain was racing with plans and preparations. I would tell Willy tonight that as soon as we knew the sex of our baby, we should get the nursery ready, get the clothing, hell, even plan his college education. Laughing aloud, I completed dressing, fixing my hair and makeup, and hurried to the car. Contrary to how I had felt earlier, I was full of new energy. I am behaving like a pregnant woman, I thought.

  The moment the garage door went up, I backed out and was so excited, I nearly forgot to close the garage door before I sped off, spinning my tires like some speed-crazed teenager. I even turned up my car radio. Were these mood swings another symptom? I wondered.

  When I pulled into Roger’s parking lot, I didn’t see Willy or Eve’s car. I started to call to see where they were, but stopped and told myself I’ve got to give her some space, especially now. I could see Roger’s wasn’t very crowded. It was late, especially for a restaurant like this.

  Roger’s was designed on the model of an old-fashioned fifties diner. The booths were in blood red imitation leather with Formica table tops. There was a long counter with imitation black leather stools, and a small rear area for birthday parties and the like parents threw for their children here. The kitchen was open and behind the counter. All the waitresses (there were no waiters) were dressed like high school cheerleaders, wearing light-knit black and gold sweaters and short skirts with white shoes that had tiny bells on the laces.

  The aroma of grilled burgers turned me into a hungry vampire. I slipped quickly into a booth and seized the menu when the waitress stepped over. I told myself this wasn’t formal dining. I could order my food now. Who knew when Willy and Eve would actually appear anyway? I not only expected them to understand; I thought of it as my right. After all, I’m the one who had undergone the insemination and had to be given any and all consideration.

  Before the waitress could ask me what I wanted to drink, I told her to give me the deluxe burger.

  “Rare,” I added, “and a Coke.”

  The french fries came with the burgers. She took the menu and went to the counter. I gazed around. There were two couples toward the rear and a tall man with his back to me. I gazed out the window, hoping to see either Willy’s car or Eve’s any moment. I hadn’t even noticed that the night sky had grown thickly overcast. Not a star was visible. The darkness squeezed in around the patches of light cast by streetlights and the restaurant’s parking lot lights and signs. The illuminated world was under assault, besieged. Without electricity, fire or batteries, we’d be swallowed into the belly of night.

  Just as the waitress brought my Coke, the man who had been sitting behind me walked past on his way out. I glanced up at him and then felt my body tighten, my heart stop and start. He looked like the same man who had stepped in front of my car earlier in the day. He wore the same black shirt and pants, and his hair also was cut military-style. He didn’t look at me until he reached the door and then turned back. He stared for a moment, nodding slightly but not to me as much as to confirm something he was thinking. Then he left. I watched him walk through the parking lot and d
isappear in the wall of shadows on the other side. He didn’t even look like he was heading for a parked car.

  Moments later, Willy and Eve pulled in. They were in Eve’s car. Willy was laughing when she stepped out. I could see they were both in a jolly mood. They saw me in the window and waved. The waitress brought my burger as they entered and headed toward the table.

  “Well, who can’t wait?” Willy asked.

  “I had no idea when you were showing.”

  She slipped in beside me, taking a french fry off my plate. The waitress waited for Eve to get into the booth and handed them both menus. Willy eyed mine.

  “Since when do you eat the deluxe? I couldn’t get her to order the petite whenever we were here,” she explained to Eve, who smiled and nodded as if she had been with us for years. “I will have a petite, medium,” Willy told the waitress. “Without the pickle,” she added.

  Eve ordered the Jack cheese burger and both ordered bottled water.

  “Great. Make me out to be the pig,” I said. I bit into my burger.

  “Don’t tell me you’re having cravings already,” Willy said. I told her about my conversation with Dr. Matthews and the pregnant woman who had delivered the perfect baby months too early. “Could that be?” she asked Eve.

  Why was she suddenly the expert? I wondered.

  “I do remember hearing something about that particular birth.”

  “Well, if you’re not pregnant, you’ve certainly had an identity reversal,” Willy told me. I had nearly finished my burger.

  I gazed out the window again and then told them about the man in the black shirt.

  Willy shrugged.

  “So? It’s not a big city. People see the same people in different places all the time.”

  “It was the way he looked at me both times.”

  Willy stared a moment and then looked at Eve. They both smiled.

  “Oh give me that old paranoia,” Willy began to sing to the tune of “Old Time Religion.” “That old time paranoia to make me feel important.”

  “Very funny.”

  “If he’s around when I am and he gives you any weird looks, I’ll kick him in the balls so hard, he’ll have a new pair of ears,” she said.

  They laughed and then started talking about the plant and the business and this idea of a bigger expansion. Once again, I felt left out. I was torn between my impending motherhood, should I be pregnant, and my interest in the business and life Willy and I had created together. I could see Eve slipping into my seat behind my computer and spending most of the day with Willy while I sat at home.

  But wasn’t this what I had wanted? I had to get past my petty jealousies.

  Besides, I thought, when the baby is born, Willy will be a parent too and that will bind us in ways neither of us could imagine. That was always our plan, our dream for ourselves and our child.

  And that’s what will happen, I told myself.

  But I was unable to prevent the small voice within me from throwing up a challenge and asking, “Are you sure?”

  I looked at Willy, her face so vibrant with new excitement, the excitement that should have been reserved for our impending parenthood and I had to admit to the voice, to the challenge, that I didn’t know. I couldn’t be certain.

  And that made me afraid.

  It made me almost wish the insemination had failed. If it did, I thought, I’d put off trying again until this new business venture was completed.

  Or maybe…forever.

  11.

  WHEN I WENT TO SLEEP, I slept like a contented baby. Willy lay beside me talking in what felt like a stream of rhythmic phrases threading together comments about the work, people she met, and our future as though she were weaving a tapestry of our past, present, and future. For me it had the effect of a lullaby. I had a wonderful, restful night and woke when she did. Back into myself, I showered and dressed, feeling renewed. Eve came over and the three of us had breakfast. Even my interest in the plant and our project was heightened. I saw how pleased Willy was, so when we arrived at the warehouse, I went right to work and our day just clicked along. Representatives for the White Party came to talk to us. They were pleased with all our plans and preparations. Amazingly, none of them even mentioned poor Glen Isler anymore. However, Tommy told me he heard the investigation of Isler’s accident and death was still ongoing.

  My appetite, although still bigger than usual, was nothing like it had been that first day. I didn’t crave sweets as much either. I know my temperament improved. I didn’t view Eve as any threat and in fact began to see how she was really assisting Willy and lessening her workload. She had quickly become a true right-hand man, an assistant manager. I saw, too, how the other employees were treating her with more respect, recognizing her expertise.

  Because we still had our regular customers to service, our days had few dead spots. Keeping busy diminished any of my concerns about the insemination’s success or failure, and as the day of my first post appointment with Dr. Aaron drew closer, I anticipated and suffered little anxiety. Eve didn’t ask to go along with us, but I saw she wanted so much to be part of our lives now so I asked her if she would like to go. Her face instantly brightened. Later, Willy thanked me.

  “That was kind of you, Kate. The more I’m with her, the more I see how she’s alone in the world. What she had of family has really drifted away from her. I learned she doesn’t have all that much contact with her sister who works for Dr. Aaron. She thinks of us now as her sisters.”

  I nodded. I was feeling magnanimous. The more I enjoyed my health and energy, the less threatened I felt. If I were pregnant, it was true that women were at their best when with child, I thought, even this early into it. More pleasing to me was Willy’s admiration for me, which seemed now to be growing. She wasn’t teasing me anywhere as much as she used to. The increased warmth between us was palpable.

  When we arrived at Dr. Aaron’s office and were buzzed in, I immediately saw and felt the strain between Eve and her sister. They didn’t hug or kiss each other, and her sister’s questioning of how she was getting along was full of negativity. I sensed a terrible sibling rivalry, a frenzied feeding in the trough of envy. She kept looking to us hopefully to see if we would show any displeasure, especially looking to me. We left her out in the lobby when we went into the examination room.

  “I like the glow in your face,” Dr. Aaron said as soon as she entered, and looked at me. “Women are like candles. Pregnancy lights them up.”

  “Hear that, Willy?”

  “In this case I’d rather be in the dark,” she responded, and we laughed.

  Dr. Aaron took some blood, did a quick examination of my breasts and stomach and then asked us to wait.

  “I am equipped here with state-of-the-art diagnostics,” she explained. “Why don’t you two have a cup of coffee or tea? Bea will take care of you.”

  We returned to the lobby to wait. I was surprised to see Eve wasn’t there. There was another patient waiting to see Dr. Aaron. She didn’t look much more than a teenager. From the way she kept her attention on the magazine she was reading and avoided eye contact with me or Willy, I assumed she wasn’t happy about being here. Another unwanted pregnancy, I surmised. It made me a little uncomfortable. Did Dr. Aaron perform abortions in this same office where she assisted and encouraged healthy births?

  Willy and I exchanged a look revealing she was probably on the same wavelength.

  “Where’s Eve?” I asked her sister.

  “Oh, she wanted to get some air and went for a walk,” she told us. “Is she really doing as well as she claims?”

  “Yes, she is,” Willy said. “We’re lucky to have her.”

  “I’m happy for her. And for you, of course,” she added, but not with any real sincerity.

  I stepped out of the office and Willy followed.

  “I know why she’d rather have us as sisters,” I said.

  “Ditto.”

  We saw Eve walking slowly a good block and a half d
own the street. She had her hands in her pockets and her head down. I called to her and she turned and waved. Then she started back. Just as she started to cross the street, a car came around the turn behind her, the engine roaring.

  “EVE!” Willy shouted.

  If there were two inches between her and the bumper of that car, there was a lot. The wind it created and the shock of its sudden appearance spun her around. We both screamed. The car sped past us, the driver not looking back or slowing down. I had only a brief glance, but it was enough to send chills up my spine. Willy was running to Eve, who had her hand over her heart and looked incapable of moving. I hurried behind her.

  “Are you all right?” Willy asked.

  “I think so,” she said. She was taking deep breaths.

  “The bastard didn’t even slow down after he almost hit you.”

  “It looked like he wanted to hit her,” I said.

  Eve looked at me and shook her head.

  “He just didn’t pay attention when he came around the turn and I didn’t anticipate a car. He shouldn’t have been going that fast, but it was just as much my fault for being so oblivious.”

  “If we didn’t have to wait for Dr. Aaron, I’d go after the son of a bitch and send his balls to a taxidermist to make something I could hang on my rearview mirror instead of big dice,” Willy said.

  Eve laughed.

  “He wanted to hit her,” I emphasized.

  They turned to me.

  “C’mon, Kate,” Willy said.

  “The driver…I’m almost sure he was the same man.”

  “What same man?”

  “The same man I almost hit. The same man I saw in Roger’s who gave me that look again.”

  “Why would he want to hit her, Kate? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I don’t know. I sense something evil.”

  Willy started the hum the theme from The Twilight Zone.

  “I’m all right, Kate,” Eve said. “It was just a stupid driver. Don’t make anything more of it. I’m sorry you had this happen now. I should have stayed at the plant.”

  “It’s not your fault, Eve,” I said. “How could that be your fault?”