Unholy Birth Read online

  Willy seconded it, but she, like me, could see something troubled her.

  “Is anything wrong?” she asked her. “I mean, other than this stupidity.”

  “My sister is such a horse’s ass. We never got along that well. She’s always been jealous of my ability to make close friends. It’s her own fault. She puts people off. Silly sibling rivalry, but I wish she’d grow up,” she added. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be laying all this on you guys, especially now.”

  “Forget it,” Willy said.

  “It’s all right,” I said. “I’m not in a fatal illness.”

  “That’s debatable,” Willy quipped. “Children can cause premature aging and encourage parental suicide.”

  “You’re such an idiot,” I said.

  Eve laughed, and the moment lightened up for us.

  Suddenly, we heard Bea calling to us from the office entrance.

  “Don’t mention this close call to her, please,” Eve said. “She’ll only see it as my fault anyway.”

  “I wish I would have gotten his license plate number,” I said.

  We entered the lobby. The teenage girl who had been sitting there reading her magazine had apparently been taken into the examination area. As it turned out, Eve’s sister had seen everything through the window in her small reception area.

  “You almost bought it,” she told her. Eve tried to ignore her. “You never watch what you’re doing. You never anticipate…”

  “Will you stop it, Bea,” Eve snapped.

  “You should know better,” Bea apparently had to add.

  What kind of a thing was that to say to an adult? I wondered. I was starting to dislike her as much as Eve did.

  “You just love criticizing me, Bea,” Eve told her and accompanied us into the office. “Jerk-off,” Eve muttered. Willy laughed.

  “Don’t let her bother you,” she told her, and then put her arm around her and shook her. She smiled at me and at Willy.

  “I’m sorry, Kate,” Dr. Aaron said as soon as she entered the examination room. “I’m really surprised. I was so confident we’d get it this first try, but don’t be discouraged. It’s more the case than not.”

  Both Willy and Eve were staring at me. Willy put her arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.

  “It’s all right. It’ll happen,” she said.

  I felt my eyes starting to fill with tears so I quickly turned away, took a deep breath and held my lids closed.

  “You want a moment?” I heard Dr. Aaron ask Willy.

  “I think we’re fine. Hey, Kate, we’ll try again as soon as it’s opportune.”

  “I’m sorry I don’t have good news for you this time, but when I do, I don’t envision any complications with your pregnancy, Kate. You’re healthier than most of my patients.”

  “She’s Vitamin Kate,” Willy quipped. “Between her herbal teas and natural foods…”

  “I have one suggestion,” Dr. Aaron said reaching into her lab coat pocket. “Take one of these every day. The pills are a combination of herbal and hormonal ingredients that could very well enhance your chances next time.”

  “Why didn’t you give them to me before?” I asked immediately.

  “You were such a perfect candidate, I didn’t see the need, but there are so many factors that involve themselves in this event, Kate, including anxiety, stress, so many we can’t anticipate. The pills cut down on that sort of interference.”

  “Can’t hurt her, can they?” Willy asked.

  “Oh no. They’re made from only natural substances. You can take your regular vitamins, eat how you wish, drink alcoholic beverages. Nothing contradicts them and they contradict nothing. They’re just a little hedge,” she added.

  Willy looked at me and then widened her eyes. I reached out and took the pills.

  “Thank you,” I said, then bit down on my lower lip, forced a smile at Dr. Aaron, and started out. “I want to get back,” I said.

  “Thank you, Doc,” Willy told her. She and Eve followed me out, Dr. Aaron trailing behind.

  “I’ll be on the phone with Dr. Matthews later in the day,” she told us. I paused. “I’m sure she’ll be calling you. In the meantime, continue your normal daily routine. Two months from now it will all be different, I’m sure. They’ll be a he or a she coming into your lives.”

  “When would we know that?” Willy asked.

  “Know what?”

  “If the little being is a boy or a girl?”

  “Oh, well some don’t want to know.”

  “We’ll want to know, won’t we, Kate?”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. Her face darkened with my negativity. “Yes,” I said quickly. “We would want to know.”

  “Ultrasound is the best way, usually between 18 and 26 weeks,” Dr. Aaron told us. “There are other ways, but sometimes they’re not accurate.”

  “Four and a half months?” Willy asked. “Seems you’d know that earlier.”

  “We can’t hurry nature,” Dr. Aaron told her. “It’s how the fetus forms.”

  “Really?” I said. “Dr. Matthews told me about a client of hers who gave birth in a little more than five months to a healthy child. Did you have her as a patient?”

  “No, that one got past me,” she said, smiling. She continued to walk us out. “Be sure to call me with any questions, Kate. Anytime. And try those pills, one a day, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said, but not with much enthusiasm.

  “And how are you doing, Eve?” she asked her.

  “Great, thanks. It’s a pretty exciting business.”

  “I’m happy for you. That’s nice. It’s nice to hear good news,” she said.

  As we walked down the hallway, I glanced through a slightly opened door and saw the teenage girl prostrate on a table. She had a damp cloth over her eyes. Dr. Aaron saw where my gaze went and reached out without looking to pull the door completely closed.

  “Okay, then,” she said when we reached the lobby, “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you sooner than you think.”

  We walked out. Eve paused at the receptionist’s window.

  “How’s Lil?” she asked her sister.

  “She’s doing well. Nice of you to remember your niece,” she added caustically. Eve glanced at us and swung her eyes.

  “Okay, Bea. I’ll be seeing you,” she said, and walked out ahead of us.

  I looked at Bea quizzically and then, feeling Willy’s hand on my arm, continued after Eve.

  “Hey,” Willy said, getting into the car, “remember. You can choose your friends, but not your relatives.”

  “Too bad,” Eve said, looking out the window. Then she turned and smiled at me. “Anyway, if you go back far enough we’re all related.”

  “Right,” Willy said. “Eve.”

  They laughed. I sat back and closed my eyes. I’m not pregnant, I thought. I am not going to have my own baby as soon as I had hoped. Someday, however, he or she will be a part of me and I’ll be part of him or her forever. I have to keep telling myself that or I’ll just burst out in tears.

  The phone started ringing as soon as we entered the house. It was as if someone was watching our home and called to tell Lois Matthews we were there.

  “I know you’re terribly, terribly disappointed, Kate. I feel I added to that by being so overconfident,” she told me. “I’ve discussed it with my associates, and we’ve decided that next month’s insemination should be on us. It won’t cost you and Willy anything.”

  “The cost wasn’t upsetting me,” I said, “but we appreciate your offer.”

  “Good. Now just take care of yourself, use the pills Dr. Aaron gave you, and let’s keep a stiff upper lip. I’ll check on you from time to time and of course, we’ll schedule you in at the opportune time.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Give my best to Willy and Eve.”

  “I will,” I told her and then told Willy what she had said.

  “They should pay,” she said sharply.
“She shouldn’t have made it seem a slam dunk.”

  “I guess that’s the right analogy,” I told her, and she laughed.

  “That’s my Kate,” she said, hugging me. I knew she was anxious to get back to the plant and told her to just go. I’d be fine.

  Although I ate somewhat more than I usually did during the week that followed, I no longer saw any radical changes in my eating habits and I did not develop any unusual cravings. Previously full of expectation and hope, I had downloaded a booklet describing what I should expect during my pregnancy. I read it all carefully and some of what had been happening to me suggested I had become pregnant. This added to my disappointment.

  What surprised me, however, was the weight I gained. I was never one to gain weight that quickly, and with my normal eating habits and my otherwise neurotic concern for my figure, I rarely indulged in foods that would impact on my weight dramatically. Willy was always astounded by the fact that I could eat well and, despite not doing a tenth of her exercise, not gain an ounce. Of course, the explanation rested with my metabolism. For better or for worse, mine simply burned up calories.

  Not now, however, and at the start, it didn’t alarm me, especially because my face didn’t bloat or show signs of any weight gain, but when I stepped on the scale, I recoiled at the report that I had gained five pounds and this in less than ten days since I had been given the blood results and told I wasn’t pregnant!

  I called Dr. Aaron to see what she thought. I wondered if it had anything to do with the pills she had given me to enhance my chances next time.

  “Well, they might have a slight effect on your metabolism. Five pounds isn’t terrible. You say you haven’t dramatically changed your eating habits?”

  “No, not really. Certainly not enough to gain five pounds in a week.”

  “How are you feeling overall?”

  “Good. Despite being a little depressed, I have more energy. I’m actually surprised I’m sleeping well.”

  “Most of that is, I’m happy to say, a result of the pills I gave you. So, I wouldn’t stop taking them, but don’t hesitate to call me if you have any questions or concerns. Anytime,” she emphasized and then to underscore that, she gave me her cell phone number and her home phone number.

  She did make me feel better about it and I stopped worrying. I hesitated to mention anything to Willy anyway. She and Eve and the crew were deep into the preparations for the White Party now and I didn’t see any reason to stir up concerns, especially when I considered that I did feel good. I knew Willy would just ridicule my concern about my weight.

  Every day I looked for something different in my face, but saw no bloating despite the weight gain. Even my legs remained the same shape and size, but my belly looked a little distended. How odd, I thought, and weighed myself three days later to discover I had put on another three pounds.

  Something else began to happen. I found myself sweating unusually at different times. The next day I woke in a sweat, showered, dressed, and went to work. Two hours after I was at the plant, I broke into another heavy sweat. For a few moments, it was so severe, I went into a little panic. Willy was shouting at one of the employees for approaching a table without wearing his hair cap. I never heard her so strident and even from the office window could see her face was crimson. I retreated and took deep breaths, drank some cold water, and tried to calm and relax myself. The perspiration diminished, but then I thought I felt something in my stomach.

  My eyes opened and widened. I held my breath and waited, and then I felt it again, a distinct feeling of something moving within me. I sat there dazed, shocked and astounded. Willy came barging into the office to make a phone call, mumbling to herself about the employee and didn’t even look my way until she lifted the receiver and began her call.

  She stopped poking out the numbers and lowered the phone from her ear.

  “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something even worse.”

  “I could swear I felt something move inside me.”

  She smirked and raised her eyes toward the ceiling.

  “You’re not pregnant, Kate. We both know you have a remarkable imagination. I’m sure it was just gas,” she added, smiling, and shook her head and returned to her call.

  I waited while she took a supplier to task for failing to make a delivery. With our added buying, her power grew proportionately and she was not afraid of welding it like a club. Whoever was on the other end was pleading, promising, and apologizing profusely.

  “You have an hour,” she told her and slammed the receiver down on its cradle so hard, she made me jump in my seat.

  “Damn,” I said. “This new enterprise is supposed to be something good for us. You look like you’re on the verge of a heart attack.”

  “People take advantage of you if you let them,” she replied.

  “They never did before.”

  “Of course they did. We couldn’t do as much about it as we can now. Don’t worry about it. I’m not getting sick over it; I’m just flexing our new muscle.”

  She started out of the office.

  “Something else is happening to me and I’m not imagining that,” I said.

  “What is it, Kate?” she asked with controlled impatience.

  “I’m breaking out into these sweats. It’s common in the second trimester of a pregnancy.”

  “Maybe it has something to do with the pills Dr. Aaron gave you. Did you call her and discuss it?”

  “No, it just started.”

  “So?” She raised her arms. “Call her. Jesus.”

  After she left the office, I had to admit to myself that she might have been right about my active imagination. I didn’t feel any more movement in my stomach. However, I did feel discomfort around my waist. When I stood up, I found my skirt was so tight, I had to lower the zipper. Something’s bloating me, I thought. I became more and more anxious about it and decided that for a while, I should just lie down on the settee in our office. I closed my eyes and didn’t realize I had fallen asleep and slept through a good part of the afternoon. If either Willy or Eve had seen me, neither apparently wanted to wake me.

  The sound of Willy screaming at the top of her lungs was what finally woke me. I sat up, confused, even a bit dazed and shocked at the time that had gone by. The shouting grew even louder. I stood up and went to the door. Willy was in the process of firing someone, one of the new employees, a lean, dark-haired man a few inches shorter than Willy. I recalled he had a very soft, mild manner about him. Willy was very aggressive, standing inches from the cowering man. We had hired three days ago. His name was Anthony Salani.

  I opened the door to hear more clearly.

  “What are you, a saboteur?” Willy screamed. She raised her fist toward his face. He shook his head, turned and walked out of the plant. Willy stood there fuming.

  “What’s going on?” I shouted, trying to be heard over the machinery. Willy turned and walked toward the shrink wrapper. I felt a little dizzy and backed into the office to get myself some water. When I brought it to my lips, however, a strong wave of nausea rippled up from my abdomen and I leaned over the sink where I started to dry heave and then, after a terrific cramping that terrified me for a moment, suddenly felt incredibly better. It was such an instantaneous recuperation, I simply stood there holding my breath and waiting for a second shoe to drop. None did.

  I straightened up, took a few deep breaths, and looked at the cabinet where we kept our snacks. How could I be so hungry after that? I wondered, but went to it and plucked out one of Willy’s hi-protein bars. Normally, I thought they were nauseatingly sweet, but I gobbled it up like some stray dog, nearly biting my own fingers and then, astounding myself, reached in for another.

  Eve came in just as I finished the second.

  “Hey, how you doing?” she asked.

  “I fell asleep, woke up, felt nauseous and now I feel…ravenous. It’s crazy.”

  “I get like that sometimes. Many times,” s
he said, smiling. “That’s why I look like a balloon someone’s squeezing.” She went to Willy’s desk.

  “What happened out there?”

  “Oh. That new guy Father Rossi recommended screwed up the computerized mixing tank and we lost the whole batch of the crab cake mix. Before that he broke a bulb on the box packer and the shards of glass were all over the place. Whatever experience he claimed he had was probably bogus. Willy wants to tell Father Rossi a thing or two, but I calmed her down. Priest can’t be responsible for what one of his parishioner’s relatives does. He meant well.”

  “She’s too high-strung,” I said. “I’m worried.”

  “She’ll be all right once we get past today. It should be smooth sailing after this,” Eve assured me. “You need anything?”

  “Looks like another late night, though,” I said, gazing through the window at Willy.

  “Afraid so.”

  “I think I’d better leave and get home to relax,” I said. What I really meant was I didn’t want to wait for dinner.

  “No problem. I don’t want to interfere, but if there’s anything you want me to do on the billing, ordering.”

  I gazed at the pile of invoices I had yet to enter.

  “Okay,” I said. “If you can, enter those. I’ll follow up tomorrow. Just be sure you back up continually. I’m paranoid about computers.”

  “I hear ya,” she said. “No worries.”

  I looked at the shelf of snacks, glanced at Eve, and then took another protein bar.

  “Tide me over until I get home,” I said.

  “Oh. I forgot. I prepared a meat loaf Stroganoff you might like. Just heat it at…”

  “I know how to heat it,” I said quickly.

  “Right. It’s a recipe I learned from this Hungarian chef I worked with two years ago. I hope you like it.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  I gathered up my things and headed out. Willy turned from the machinery and held up her hand to signal I should wait. She spoke to Tom Ryan quickly before heading in my direction.

  “I saw you were fast asleep before. You okay?”

  “I wasn’t for a while there and then suddenly…” I smiled. “I feel great.”

  “Did you call Dr. Aaron?”